I want... to be WANTED

Why do the individuals you are interested in not like you... yet the ones you aren't interested in... like you?

The ungettable get. That is what it is..... *sigh*

Also... is it Sesame street having a reunion... or something? It is special to this cartoon series for any special reason for the last few weeks? I must know. The last things on google have all been directed towards it... Just wondering.

.....

You know that feeling where you just want to have someone hold you....

To just be able to lay in someone's arms and have them hold you close.

To nestle in that place right by someones chest and have them rest their head on yours and smell your hair.....

To flirt and gently tease...

When someone brushes your hair aside and gazes into your eyes...

To have someone giggle "boy giggle (or girl giggle I suppose depending on the person)* when you kiss them... or when you kiss their cheeck (and have them say "giggled like a school girl")

To have someone squeese your sides and pull you in closer...

To have someone come up behind you and wrap their arms around you...

To have someone reach down and grab your hand...

To gaze into someones eye... and have them smirk slightly and then lean in and kiss you...

I WANT THAT! I want... to be wanted. It's as simple as that.... The problem you ask? I don't want to be loved... not just yet.... I'm not ready. I'm not ready to give up my heart to someone. Yet, I want to be wanted.... Like I said just not too much.

But this boy who loves me... why don't I love him back? Is it the distance? Is it that I'm just not ready? Will I ever love him.... or should I just let him go? I really really care for him.... More than I have for any other guy..... But I don't know what love is. What is love anyway? Crap! Don't ask me!!!! WHO'S TO EVEN KNOW... WHICH PERSON IS THE RIGHT ONE? I know I know... but I've decided even if Chip is the guy I'm suppose to marry... I'm not ready for the answer.

So for now... I just want a boy to like me. To hang out with me... to cuddle with and... kiss... who likes me.....